7 Courageous Steps to Admit “This isn’t Working Anymore”.
The Whisper You’ve Been Ignoring
There’s a moment, quiet, unnerving, yet powerful when you realise: this isn’t working anymore.
Maybe it’s your career that once thrilled you but now leaves you numb. Or your entrepreneurial hustle that used to energise you but now only drains. Perhaps it’s a version of success that once defined you but now suffocates you.
For high-achieving women, this moment can feel terrifying. You’ve worked so hard to build this life. Admitting it’s no longer aligned can feel like betrayal to your past self, your family, your identity. But the truth is, this admitting needs to be seen as courageous not betrayal. It takes courage to pause, to pivot, to choose something different.
In this blog, I will offer 7 practical, compassionate tips to help you find that courage and take the first steps toward a life that actually fits.
1. Honour the Discomfort: It’s Data, Not Failure
“Emotions are data.” This is a core principle in emotional intelligence research, and it’s especially true here. If you’re feeling drained, unfulfilled, or restless, those feelings aren’t character flaws, rather, they’re internal signals trying to tell you something important.
Research shows that emotional dissonance is actually a key contributor to burnout in high performers.
So, start by acknowledging the discomfort instead of dismissing or bypassing it. Ask yourself:
What’s making me feel heavy?
What’s energising me lately?
What would I do differently if I didn’t feel guilty?
Journaling, voice notes, or working with a coach can help you process what your body and mind already know.
2. Challenge the Narrative That “Quitting” Is Weakness
Many high-achieving women were raised in environments that glorified grit, endurance, and pushing through. But continuing something that no longer serves you isn’t strength, it’s self-abandonment.
Angela Duckworth, author of “Grit,” clarifies that grit is not about staying in the wrong lane, rather, it’s about staying committed to your purpose, not your path.
Let’s redefine quitting as course-correction, not collapse.
3. Build a Safe Space for Your Truth to Land
You don’t need an audience to validate your truth. But you do need safety within and around you to admit it.
Surround yourself with people (even if it’s just one) who can hold space without judgment or solutions. This could be:
A coach or therapist
A trusted friend who won’t project their fears onto you
A community of like-minded women also navigating transitions
Neuroscience confirms that psychological safety is essential for decision-making, especially when confronting vulnerability.
4. Get Honest About the Cost of Staying
Sometimes, it’s easier to stay in a life that looks good on paper than face the unknown. But every “yes” to something misaligned is a “no” to your well-being, purpose, and future joy.
Ask yourself:
What is staying in this job, business, or role really costing me?
Is this version of success sustainable for who I am today?
What’s the risk of not changing?
Psychologist Dr. Susan David talks about “emotional agility” the ability to face our truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, as a path to greater fulfillment and resilience.
Make a “stay vs. go” cost-benefit table. Seeing it on paper can often clarify what your gut already knows.
5. Redefine Success for This Season of Life
The version of success you chased at 25 doesn’t have to be the same at 35, 45, or 55. But many high-achieving women struggle to let go of old metrics: titles, income, recognition, perfection.
Here’s the radical question: What does success look like now, for the woman I am becoming?
Studies in positive psychology show that well-being is deeply tied to autonomy, purpose, and mastery, not just achievement or external validation.
Success isn’t a fixed destination, it evolves as you evolve.
6. Anchor Yourself in Micro-Courage
You don’t need to blow up your life tomorrow. Courage often starts with one small act of truth.
Micro-courage might look like:
Saying “I need help” for the first time
Telling your partner, “I’m not happy with how work feels”
Booking that clarity call with a coach (even if your voice shakes)
Taking a Friday off with zero productivity guilt
Bravery is born in the everyday moments, not just the dramatic ones.
Each act of honesty builds internal trust. And that trust becomes your foundation for bigger decisions ahead.
7. Visualise the After, not Just the Ending
Fear thrives in uncertainty. The brain is wired to resist letting go when it can’t clearly picture what comes next.
So give it something better to latch onto. Not just the “leaving” but the liberation.
Close your eyes and ask:
What does freedom look like for me?
How would I feel waking up in a life that fits?
Who am I becoming if I follow through?
Studies in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) show that visualisation helps regulate fear, increase motivation, and improve follow-through on goals.
Hope is a strategy. Let your vision be bigger than your fear.
Admitting “this isn’t working anymore” is one of the most courageous, grown-woman moves you’ll ever make. It’s not a sign of failure, it’s a return to yourself.
You don’t owe anyone a lifetime of self-betrayal just to keep up appearances.